The integration of efficient anti-solid fouling and high-performance microwave absorption into a single material platform remains a critical challenge, limiting advancements in radar stealth, aerospace, and Arctic infrastructures. Herein, we present a self-lubricating composite with embedded hydroxylated Fe₃O₄-reduced graphene oxide (rGO@Fe₃O₄) hybrids that overcomes this challenge through a synergistic hierarchical architecture. This composite exhibits unprecedented multifunctionality: simultaneous anti-fouling and de-icing, self-healing, exceptional low-temperature adaptability (down to −60 °C), and ultra-broadband microwave absorption. Leveraging the synergistic design of dielectric and magnetic losses, the composite achieves an effective absorption bandwidth of 6.6 GHz and a minimum reflection loss of −41.3 dB. Radar cross-section measurements reveal an average reduction of 8.15 and 5.5 dB under vertical and horizontal polarizations, respectively. Furthermore, the incorporation of rGO@Fe₃O₄ significantly enhances the composite’s adhesive strength across various substrates. Notably, the incorporation of a dynamically regenerating paraffin lubrication phase does not compromise microwave absorption, resolving a long-standing trade-off between anti-solid fouling and electromagnetic impedance matching. This synergistic coupling enables stable broadband absorption performance even under repeated fouling, de-icing, and lubrication-regeneration cycles. These findings highlight the multifunctional composite’s potential for practical applications in all-weather anti-solid adhesion and radar stealth, paving a new pathway for advanced surface engineering.